Boris In the News

Fractals R Us Publishing

Weekly World News:

Top Gambling Experts Form New Company to Assault Casinos
by R. U. Sirius

Gambling Newswire, Oct. 23, 1999, Atlantic City, NJ - The legalized casino industry was dealt a severe blow today with the announcement that two of the most feared expert gambler/researchers in the world have joined forces. Ron "Boris" Fitch and Doug Grant have formed Fractals R Us Publishing and have simultaneously announced a breakthrough in the development of winning systems for table games.

Grant, best known as the most successful winning blackjack player and team organizer in the history of casino gambling has also been a tireless champion against casino cheating and bogus sellers of worthless card-counting systems. Fitch, who prefers to be called Boris, is the developer of the top-rated blackjack simulation software of the same name.

"Until now, players of blackjack and other table games were at the mercy of a RICO conspiracy between casinos and the pathetic conmen system hustlers", says Grant, "this changes everything!", he gleefully exclaims.

"I have found a worthy partner and a brilliant associate", proclaimed Boris, "now will be the beginning of a new era in science-advantage gambling!"

Unveiled at a press conference held at the Claridge Resort Casino on the beautiful Atlantic City Boardwalk was the new collaborative FractalClumpT 'RadiatingBias blackjack system', a first ever focused-distillation of the combined genius of the two brilliant game strategists. "Counting doesn't work, as I have emphasized for years", Grant continued, "the casino game of blackjack is non-linear, but thru the relatively simple application of our patented fractal algorithm, Fractalrithm, players can predetermine the winning table for play and preset the amount that they desire to win.

FractalClumpT is a most amazing discovery and based upon the highest universal pattern", Boris went on to elaborate, "it is unlike anything ever devised for winning at casino table games and will have devastating effects on the gaming industry even as it benefits mankind as a whole.

Also present was Donald Trump, owner of The Claridge. "I am so excited about what this will mean to customers that play at my casinos that I have decided to give the new system to every player who stays at a Trump resort". "Yes", the darling Donald continued, "our casinos will lose money to every player who utilizes the easy to learn FractalClumpT system, BUT we will make it up in volume!" The ever-smiling Donald proclaimed this new alignment with the noteworthy system scientists to be "a huge victory and win-win-win for all involved - players, Trump shareholders, and me of course".

Originally incorporated as 2 + 2 = Uh? Publishing, the name was changed last week to reflect the company's new direction.

Also present and indicative of the huge collaborative effort that lead to the fractal-gambling breakthrough, were the key board members of the Fractals R Us Publishing unit, E. Clifton Davis, Ronald Dahl, David Popik, and the chair of the company's advisory board, Dr. Morton Jacobs.

"The day of the FractalClumpers has arrived!" explains company's press secretary, Thomas Bolick, as Boris and Grant hold each other's hand high in a traditional victory stance to a bursting array of photoflash.


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